I get a whole lot of questions from working moms about the division of labor.
Who does what?
Who works more?
Who is more tired at the end of a day?
How can I get my husband to do more around the house and help more with the kids?
As we all know, every marriage is unique and there are no "one-size-fits-all" solutions. And let me start out by stating unequivocally in no way
consider myself an expert on marriage. (Truly, I'm no marriage expert.) But that withstanding, I will share some of the lessons I've learned over the course of 20 years with my husband that have made for a happier homestead.1. Throw away the scorecard.
(Seriously.) Save yourself the pain of attempting to keep a runny tally about who does more work inside and out of the home. Just do your own
work heartily as if working unto the Lord and not man. In all actuality, you don't really know every nuance of what your husband does and why he chooses to do what he does moment by moment. (And if you think you do, then you are paying too much attention on something that should not be of primary importance!) Take it from me, if you just can't help but keep thinking about what your husband is doing, may I suggest you instead choose to think about everything he does right? As the Bible says: "
Be anxious for
nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with
thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Do yourself and your entire family a favor and quit worrying or nagging your husband to do things and instead start praying and making your requests to God! That's a tip and tactic that will make your entire household happier and more peaceful. (Trust me on this, I've tried it.) 2. Delegate to your children.
If you are overwhelmed and overworked, make sure that you are training your children
to be not only increasingly self-reliant, but make sure they are getting practice being a blessing to others, starting with the members of their own family. Even young children can set the table, clear the table and fold square laundry such as washcloths and hand towels. Make sure that they do.
In the long run having their help will turn out to be more help to you than a hindrance.
3. Upgrade your thinking.
This is closely related to the first tip. If you want long term peace, love and happiness in your marriage, even despite momentary trials when you feel at the end of your rope, this is for you:
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." Deliberately devote time and energy to counting your blessings. In particular, the blessings that come from being married to your own particular husband. Name them. Think about the things going RIGHT. Things to be grateful for. This is
a best practice that has saved countless marriages.
I hope my thoughts on the topic encourages you and puts a fresh wind in your sails on working, motherhood and marriage.
In His Service,